Inner Peace and Quiet By Havana

 

                              Inner Peace and Quiet.

                                      A short story

                                        ( Part 1-3)

Part 1

There was a time in my life when I was tired of the endless cycle of problems that came my way.

As a teenager, you would think I'm not supposed to have worries or carry huge burdens.

The truth is, I had a lot of burdens.

I felt so alone and angry with everyone.

My anger pushed me to deactivate all my social media accounts and stay away from any form of communication. 

With nothing left to do, I started listening to new songs and reading new books.

Basically trying new things.

I would lock myself up all day and just drown in the sounds coming from my phone.

Try another book. Get myself a snack. Repeat.

I didn't even have the strength to meditate.

I know this is not the perfect example of finding inner peace and quiet, but my little episode with myself made me realize a lot of things.

Most of those burdens weren't mine to bear.

I've always had the perfect image of how my life should be and when the slightest thing goes wrong, I would be depressed.

Part 2

I was angry with the world because I thought no one cared for me.

Which in truth, not a lot of people do, but I guess I was self centered.

I realized how sad I would get when I don't have a "love life", which is supposed to be the least of my problems.

I accepted that I was an over thinker.

I always thought the worst of people including myself  and situations.

I worried about things I could not change.

I pondered upon how I shut a lot of people out and how I lost friends.

This little moment of solitude made me realize a lot of things.

So I started working on myself. I'm still in that process.

I can say I'm a better version of myself than I was two months ago.

And I've realized instead of overthinking, I could always do something that would calm me down.

When I'm a bit overwhelmed, I crave for peace of mind.

My safe space where I can experience calm and think with a clear head.

For me, inner peace is just the consciousness to be calm in every situation.

To accept change and the things I can not change.

I channel my energy to things that I find calming.

Life doesn't always give us what we want.

It's important to find yourself and find inner peace.

Part 3

I crave for tranquility of mind

When the world seems overwhelming

When I realise I've worried too much.

I want to escape from my angry thoughts

Or my parents' angry words

I want to breathe in calm and exhale serenity.

Escape life's harsh reality.

When the plates come crashing

And they begin their constant and deafening yelling

Or when work is starting to wear you out

Your partner is on your nerves and you need a timeout

Depressed and lonely

Alone and worried

Different strokes for different folks, right?

But what do you resort to when you're near your breaking point?

The tranquility of mind that you seek and if you look closely, you'll find.

Imagine yourself in your own paradise. 

Drown those noises with music.

Accept change and the things you can't change.

If you believe in spirituality, find solace in the sovereignty of your deity.

I crave to be alone sometimes.

And do the things I love the most.

But to also find myself, because the world is a moving tricycle of shit.

So I won't lose my mind from the noises I hear every night.

© Oluwatumininu Amole M. 2020

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Picture Credit: Soulveda.com