After The Loss
We are advised to grieve after a loss
When a lover, a sibling, a parent or a friend is gone
They ask us to grieve
We’re asked to embrace the pain
But I wouldn’t lie and say I am not lost
I have had deal with huge losses in my life
Lost a parent, a close friend, another close friend and a best friend.
I’m numb and I don’t think I have grieved
I don’t think I even know how to grieve
I keep asking myself what I am supposed to do after the loss
I wake up each morning asking myself if it’s okay to laugh, smile
If it’s okay to have a good day
I ask myself if I’m allowed to be happy even though I’m in so much pain
I wonder if I’m allowed to move on
And I wonder what moving on would even mean
I ask myself how to feel about the consistent flashbacks
Should I laugh or should I cry?
Can I smile in public or I would be seen as hypocritical?
Can I be joyful or how can one be joyful anymore?
After the loss, what do we do?
What do we do with the memories?
What happens to us?
Deep down, are we ever going to be okay?
Can we do the things we love again?
What happens to me after the loss?
Can we ever heal?
Can I make another friend?
Can I post my goofy videos again?
It’s probably not a big deal to you
But I am lost on what to do after this loss…
Black Christian
All Rights Reserved
Cc: Babatunde Eunice 2023
Picture Credit: Everyday Health
Wow 💔 I can relate to being numb and not knowing how to grieve 🥺 but the only person holding me is God ❤️❤️ but I love your content.
ReplyDeleteI think one effective way is to think about what who we lost would have wanted us to do. I doubt they would want our lives to pause and fixated on them. I think also thinking about it this way helps to remove the sense of guilt we might feel when we think of what everyone else would think.
ReplyDeleteIt also helps to go with all these questions to God regularly, He is the father of all comfort and he can help.
So sorry for your loss dear. I pray it becomes less painful each day
One thing I think we can always do is pray. That’s always worked for me in the past. Pray and cry through the pain and fake laughter.
ReplyDeleteBut cherish the memories as much as you can, it’s okay to remember. It is normal to remember but it gets better.
I pray there comes a time you remember everyone of them with a smile on your face based on the memories you shared and it will hurt less.
It’s hard dealing with a loss. I recently lost someone that meant the world to me. I don’t even know how to feel or how to move on. I constantly have flashbacks l.. sometimes I smile otherwise I’m crying. The best way to move on is to pray because God sees our pain and suffering and He’ll comfort us.
ReplyDeleteGrief is a normal and natural reaction to loss, and everyone experiences it differently. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
ReplyDeleteIt's okay to feel lost, confused, and numb. It's also okay to feel angry, sad, and guilty.Everyone experiences loss differently, and there is no set timeline for how long it takes to heal. It's important to allow yourself to feel your emotions, even the difficult ones. Like a comment I saw earlier "But cherish the memories as much as you can, it’s okay to remember. It is normal to remember but it gets better." Do something that your loved one loved to do. This can help you feel connected to them.
Be patient with yourself. Grieving takes time. I feel you ngl but hopefully it gets less painful each day.