W❤️

 

It is 1:24am GMT+2 1st July, 

And I’ve cried my eyes out

I thought I had dealt with it, but I haven’t in any way

I’m so mad at myself, mad at God

With each passing day, with no distractions, I find myself slipping away, losing myself.

Surrounded but still very much alone.

So f*cking lonely and so hurt 

Afraid of building my other friendships because I am so scared of losing someone else

Asking myself if I’m doing too much or feeling too much 

Why am I still so pained

Why do I accept it but it’s still so hard

I’m so upset, and no distractions work anymore

It’s been six months, and I can’t seem to move on

Am I allowed to be still so hurt

Why is it so hard to connect with anyone 

And no, I don’t want to talk to anyone about it because what can they say or do to help?

You’re so strong, Eunice? No, I’m not; it’s all a lie

I’m so weak and in so much pain.

My heart aches, considering pills or drinks

Lol, it’s so painful 

And I haven’t forgotten a thing about it

But I’m still happy you’re in a better place 

Walking the streets of gold without a care in the world

I miss you, W❤️

Black Christian 

Eunice Babatunde 2023

All Rights Reserved 

Picture Credit: Eunice B.